Eric says:

It was a strange night in Eugene this time around. Last time we were here we got a huge reaction from the crowd, this time not so much. The first band left immediately after they played and took more than a few audience members with them. How to describe the first band, let’s see, the bass player had a shaved head, was shirtless, and had a leather vest on. Both guitarists had bandannas. Not the best fit with us. There was a guy that cornered Dan who was from North Dakota, so Dan got hear his life’s story – HE was really into us. Buddha from that old Grand Forks band The Phreeks was at the show. I was not expecting to see him, especially in Eugene Oregon, apparently he now lives there. There was kind of a weird vibe this time around, The woman who booked our show quit about a week before because The Black Forest is under new management, but she still showed up to see us, which was awesome, but you could tell that she was a little uncomfortable. She assures us that we will be more than welcome at the new place she moved over to when she starts booking rock shows. Ashley ran sound for us again and even met up with us before the show, she is jumping ship from The Black Forest also. I guess that this is kind of like The Bismarck sinking a club. The Black Forest managers seem to be trying to turn it into some sort of jock bar it looks like, they had flat screen TV’s up and everything. Despite all of this, I think that we played very well. On another note, there was a guy claiming to be C.C. Deville from Poison at the show. Of all of the people to claim to be, why C.C. Deville? I would go for Izzy Stradlin myself.

Eric says:

Excellent beginning to a new year. We played with Police Teeth and Lake of Falcons. I managed to sell a few CD’s, we got paid, we had fun. The shows are free at The Blue Moon so people were actually there. Police Teeth made constant Bismarck references on stage and even ended one of their songs with the ending lines from "Trying to Keep My Dick Hard in a White Man’s World" which we actually dusted off and played that night coincidentally. James also played the bass part from "To Hell for the Company" before they played. People in the audience actually did a little singing along with us, which is a Bismarck first. Why can’t all of our shows be like this? Great show.

Eric says:

Well, here we are at The Crocodile again. This one was a little more in line with a typical Bismarck show. We played with The Withering Stares, the last band didn't even show up, and there were very few people there. We passed around the set list and had people yell out titles of songs for us to play in whatever order they felt like. I totally screwed up "The Silkworm Song" (and I made it up for shit's sake!). To cap it all off on the way back from the show we all remarked that The Crocodile must be desperate for acts if they keep asking us to play and jokingly suggested that maybe they were going out of business. Guess what? THE BISMARCK STRIKES AGAIN! - The Crocodile closed. Thanks, Bismarck, thanks.

Eric says:

We had very low expectations rolling into Eugene after the last debacle we had here back in '04. Let’s re-enact that scenario:

Chris (on the phone):

"Hi, is this the Samurai Duck?"

...

"This is Chris from The Bismarck."

...

"The Bismarck."

...

"We're playing there tonight."

......

"Yes, I did book it with Josh - why?"

...

"A month ago?"

...

"Quit, huh?"

...

"So there's a hardcore show tonight?"

This trip to Eugene actually ended up being one of the best, if not the best show of the year. The audience was responsive, the people were very friendly, and the band that we played with (named Gloria) was great, plus we sold some more CD’s and shirts and also got paid! We have got to play here again - soon.

Eric says:

The Bismarck strikes! Our mini tour ended up being a little smaller than we had anticipated. First of all, our first show got cancelled because nobody was able (or possibly willing) to fill the bill in Portland. Turns out that we wouldn't have been able to play anyway because part of I-5 was flooded and we had to make a detour to avoid it that put us about two hours off of the straight path. We ended up crashing at Dan's mom's house, woke up the next morning and drove to Eureka where we discovered that THE BISMARCK STRIKES AGAIN! Turns out that the two bands that we were playing with both had to cancel, however, we still ended up playing for about 7-10 people, about three of them actually bought some CD’s and shirts, plus we actually got paid a little so I am chalking this show up as a success. The Vista had the odd location of being attached to the ass end a seafood restaurant. Interesting. We also premiered our new song simply entitled (so far) "The Silkworm Song."

Eric says:

For the second time in less than two months we are playing at The Crocodile again, this time with some of our usual pals - Lake of Falcons and Police Teeth. This has turned into some sort of annual pre-Thanksgiving tradition of sorts. Fairly large turnout and a lot of friends from town. Kind of an odd bill with Juhu Beach, Lake of Falcons, and Unlearn playing third, and us playing last. Unlearn was a good band, but seemed kind of out of place. They really should have played either last or first, wedged between three rock bands was a little awkward. Great show.

Eric says:

Another in a string of awesome shows. Reviewing this year, I discovered that there are only about two turkeys in the whole bunch. These last three are three of our best shows of the year. We played with Police Teeth who just added another guitarist so now they are even better. We called one of our songs "Tetsuo 2: Body Hammer," and they called one of their songs "Trying to Keep my Dick Hard in a White Man's World." One of these days we are going to get one of these bands to do a cover of a Bismarck song and I think that most likely Lake of Falcons will be that band, especially since we now sing the lyrics of the Lake of Falcons song "The Smiler" over the top of "Thank You For Not Dancing." Something tells me that they have something brewing for us. Can't wait to see what will happen next.

Eric says:

Nooooooooooooo! We played the second to last S.S. Marie show. The place is finally closing down for good. Now I need to find a new favorite venue to play. We did our backwards set for this show, something we have been threatening to do for about a year - I don't think that anyone really noticed. I got shocked quite terribly by the mic, I actually saw a blue arc and I blacked out for a second. Nate warned me, but I am an idiot. We only had two mics so Chris and I shared for a few songs, and I got a face full of Chris spit. We sang the lyrics of the Lake of Falcons song "The Smiler" over "Thank You For Not Dancing," the Falcons were amused. Didn't sell anything or make any money, but we all had fun - lots of it. One of the better shows this year. Ran into Taylor and Chris, two Olympia peeps at this show. Turns out that they live in Seattle now. Go figure. We were told that we were loud. We were. Gloriously loud.

Eric says:

Well, this was a surprise! The Crocodile actually contacted us for this one and the week before the show The Stranger featured a picture of us and a small description in their Up and Coming section. There were a lot of people there to see Ladybird Unition, a band that was playing after something like a ten year hiatus. Not exactly the best fit for us, but hey, the people didn't exactly run screaming when we played. Also on the bill were Police Teeth who are an excellent fit for us. Love those guys. We will have to go up to Bellingham sometime soon to play with them. We also got paid! Is this some kind of dream? We sold one album and a shirt. There is our reality. All in all, a great show - we heckled Police Teeth (a sign of affection) and for some reason Dan and I kept throwing Conan the Barbarian quotes to each other the entire night.

Eric says:

Well, it was nice to get out of town for an evening, but we didn't seem to be impressing anyone in Port Townsend this time. We played with Chris's other band, The Withering Stares (with Lindsay from the Histrionics), and also with The Histrionics, who actually were not scheduled to play, but since they were all in the audience and the third band on the bill didn't show... It kind of felt like a Grand Forks show where all three of the bands playing had members in common. We unveiled our new song (working title "The Council Bluffs Butcher"), and I managed to coerce someone into buying an album by betting him that he couldn't read our song titles without laughing- he lost and bought a copy of What Price Victory. I think the song title that pushed him over was "Trying to Keep my Dick Hard in a White Man's World." There was some guy reading Enders Game while we were playing and I started out a song by telling him that Ender blows up the alien planet at the end. Cold.

Eric says:

After about a month long absence in both practicing and playing shows, we end up playing one of our best performances of the year. Not many people there, we played last so by the time we went on the room was pretty clear, but for some reason (possibly because we can all play these songs in our sleep) we played one of the tightest Bismarck shows ever. Well, it's nice to know that we can still bring it. Once again the audience was comprised of Bismarck regulars: Josh Engelhardt, Bryan, Bryn, Hilary, Casey, and just after we finished, all the members of Police Teeth showed up. I guess that they were in town recording and had some sort of car trouble so they were late to the show. Crap. I sold two CDs and Nate gave two away, so I guess we broke even on that. The club next to us was having some sort of funk band playing. When we were unloading all of our gear we managed to do it in the space of one of their songs. It was a bangin' time.

Eric says:

Our "official" CD release show. We played with Lake of Falcons, Police Teeth, and The Assailant. Great show, we got all dressed up in our Sunday best to promote our new album although when I showed up at Nate's house he said that my off-white shirt looked more like tan and that it made me look like a Nazi. Hmmm, I am in a band called The Bismarck, we sell shirts with a very German image on it, and I look like a brown shirt; I hope that nobody gets the wrong idea. We played a loose (and short) set. During "Death is for Heroes" the power went out so that kind of threw us off. I think that we only ended up playing six songs. All of the Seattle peeps showed up in full force and we actually ended up selling plenty of shirts and CDs. If only all of our shows could be like this. I would love to play here again and since Chris and Dan helped build the stage to the place, hopefully that gives us leverage to do so in the future. No shows on the horizon and the album is done and officially out so it looks like it is time to start making up new songs...

This show is covered in the Spring 2007 Tour Journal.

This show is covered in the Spring 2007 Tour Journal.

This show is covered in the Spring 2007 Tour Journal.

This show is covered in the Spring 2007 Tour Journal.

This show is covered in the Spring 2007 Tour Journal.

This show is covered in the Spring 2007 Tour Journal.

This show is covered in the Spring 2007 Tour Journal.

This show is covered in the Spring 2007 Tour Journal.

This show is covered in the Spring 2007 Tour Journal.

Eric says:

Shaky start to the year, we spent the last month and a half working on our second album so The Bismarck were not quite up to our fighting weight for shows, it also didn't help that Dan had the flu (which now I apparently have). Still not that bad, people seemed to like us. Nate took over singing duties for "Death is For Heroes" and I sang the last half of "Tonight We'll Make History" for Dan. One of our loosest shows ever. The band that played before us, Police Teeth, did a version of "Final Solution" which is hilarious because WE just played that song (disastrously) at our last show, Chris, Dan, and Nate wanted us to play our version, but I begged out of it (I don't remember how to play it at all). In hindsight, I actually think that it would have been funny, I could have just made noise or something. I don't think that we got paid for the show, the guy said that he would send us a check, we will see if that pans out or not (as of 4/14/07 it has not).

Eric says:

Well, this has got to be the best "last show of the year" for The Bismarck. We played with The Histrionics and Lake of Falcons, our two favorite bands to play with at my favorite venue. Tim Thomas hosted the show as Anita Goodman, his drag persona. He makes a pretty good woman. Maybe next time we could have Azzeroth host. It's worth a try at least. I recorded the entire show and from what I reviewed of it, it turned out pretty good. Our version of "Final Solution" went disastrously because we could not hear Anita's vocals for half of the song. Very unfortunate because all of the cues are made by the vocals. Well, at least it was noisy so that is something. Good year. Very few terrible shows. We managed to have quality over quantity which I believe was our goal.

Eric says:

Great show. We averted a small disaster when I plugged in and discovered that my speaker had blown. We quickly switched out and used VIA''s guitar amp and I had it sounding good after the first three songs. We premiered two new songs, "Death is For Heroes" and "To Hell For The Company," both of which went very well, which is a Bismarck first. Usually when we debut a new song we inevitably bite it, but we had a good handle on them this time, hopefully this will bleed into the next album which we have to get cracking on to get finished before tour 07. Funny, we made up our last three songs for the next album in the last three months after laboring over the last seven for almost two years. We opened for a band called Lozen from Tacoma who I unfortunately did not get to see, but hope that we get to play with at another time. Wow, I just realized that we haven't played at the Lobo since 12/12/03! Nate and I had to motor right after the show to make it to All Freakin' Night in Olympia, we got there right as the first movie started and predictably sat next to the most obnoxious guys in the theater.

Eric says:

Interesting time. Before we went on there was a circus freak show that "performed" out in the smoking area. I don't know if this was planned, or if they just showed up. They drove nails into their noses, laid on glass fragments and had people step on them. They also sewed objects (like hammers) to their bodies. One of them offered Stephanie to have her staple a dollar to them, she refused. Later they started wrestling and ended up spilling beer all over me. It was chest-thumping fun. We played well according to everyone, but for some reason I wasn't feeling it, though apparently nobody could tell by my lack of "stage presence." I actually made us cut a song. It was fairly busy for a Monday night and Tim Thomas and Tom Kip were there as well as Stephanie and some of her friends, one of which was in the band Me Culpa who we played with in Portland Waaaaaaaay back in 2004. Nothing on the horizon until November. Time to make up some new songs.

Retired:   "All Missouri, No Compromise" (2004-2006)

Eric says:

Well... what can I say, two of the bands didn't show up so The Histrionics (who were in the audience) took stage for four songs and debuted a new one. Kentucky Sound Arsenal sounded great, and very different with a singer. That will take a little getting used to. We played loose even for us and broke in "Thank You For Not Dancing," our newest song. Kind of felt like a practice. Hey, it was better than the Tonic Lounge show that we played two months ago. What were we expecting on a Thursday night for a place that never really advertises? Quarter three of the Bismarck shows inevitably end up being the low energy, low turnout shows. I hope that we have a spike in quality before the year ends.

Eric says:

Show 101. Nothing really spectacular (or terrible) about this show. Well, we did sell a CD, so that is something. The Histrionics showed up (but were not allowed in because it was a bar) after we played. Turns out they had a show on the same night at The Funhouse and dropped by to see how we were. The bar took a Polaroid of us to add to their wall of bands so at least we will leave some sort of record of our existence here. We played with a band called Phobophobe who were pretty cool, I would like to play with them again. Got pressured by The Histrionics to show up to their record release show on the 28th, which I really want to, but there is absolutely no way that I will be able to make it. Nothing on the Bismarck horizon until next month at The S.S. Marie with Kentucky Sound Arsenal (from North Dakota).

Eric says:

Another awesome show at the S.S. Marie. This is now officially my favorite place to play. It was one of three days celebrating the release of the Beep Repaired compilation album (did I mention that we are track #1), we were playing with the "rock" bands (VIA, Lake of Falcons) and two not so rock bands (Correspondents, Joy Wants Eternity). We only played six songs, but we played the shit out of them. Something about the S.S. Marie makes us play better than we usually do - oh wait, I know why, because we actually get an audience response here! This marks the Re-debut of "Tonight We'll Make History" which is a marked improvement over the original version (that we have been playing on and off since 2004). We played loose and fast, just the way that we should, Chris whipped out his harmonica, which I know he only uses on special occasions. When Lake of Falcons went on after us Dan treated them to a light show by flipping one of the indoor lights on and off in synch with a song. This is what all of our shows should be like, it would be nice to get paid and sell some CDs, but we can't have everything. Supposedly the show was recorded, I would love to hear what we actually sounded like as opposed to what I thought that we sounded like.

Eric says:

Boise to Portland. What were we thinking? Got there in typical Bismarck early fashion and took advantage of the free PBR which somehow changed to 50c after we started playing. This place was a little disorganized, at one time Chris and I got completely locked out of the room and had to wait until they opened the place for the audience to get back in. Well, the "audience" ended up being the other bands plus one girlfriend. We got Lake of Falcons on the bill with us so we owe them one now. Kevin and Jerrod showed up right as we were finishing our last song. That's what we get for playing at 9:30. What were we expecting from a Sunday show really? Had to hightail it out to Seattle immediately after we played so I didn't even really get to talk to Kevin or Jerrod at all. I felt like a total shit. Maybe next time I will have my shit better organized before I tell my friends to show up. Drove all the way up to Seattle, then I had to drive back to Olympia from Seattle at 3:00 in the morning. Our name was spelled "The Bismark" on the marquee, we didn't get paid, and we didn't sell anything. It felt like 2004 all over again.

Eric says:

Long haul all the way to Boise, but it was worth it. Played with El Dopamine who were playing again for the first time in something like ten years. Met Tim Cook's girlfriend, how they manage to stay together with her in Idaho and him in California is beyond me, but it seems to work. Got a lukewarm response from the crowd, a few scattered claps and "woo's" here and there. The last band sucked rocks, they apparently got the memo that The Killers are popular. The drummer had a drum set, but was more content to pretend to drum and fiddle with his electronic drums, I guess that he didn't want to look stupid or something. Not surprisingly at all they ended up selling more albums than us even though I did not hear on single clap or even a well placed "woo" for them. We sold two CD's and a shirt and made $100. Rock and Roll I guess. After the show we went out to this restaurant that served hors de rves at dinner prices, The Bismarck went home hungry that night except for Nate who I am sure ate $25 worth. At one point in the night I heard Nate say the phrase "pork pussy" but did not hear the context, nobody seemed offended so now I just want to know when the phrase "pork pussy" is appropriate in normal conversation because I sure can't think of a time. Stayed at Cook's girlfriends house where she kicked her children out of their beds (after much protesting from us) for us, who am I to refuse? In a startling turn of events I actually forgot to bring my pedals and instrument cords which actually turned out to be a happy accident because this forced me to use the Tube Screamer pedal that Dan built which all agreed was a marked improvement on the old RAT. Got advanced copies of the Beep Repaired compilation. It looks and sounds great and I still can't believe that we are track #1. Next month we are going to play at the official unveiling of the comp CD at the S.S. Marie, should be interesting (and warm) this time.

Eric says:

On the way up to Port Townsend a bald eagle swooped down and hovered in front of the van for a moment, if we could have gotten a picture of that I think that it would end up being our next album cover. Just as we rolled up and parked in the alley of the Boiler Room someone tossed a board (not on purpose... I think) in front of our van which ended up having a nail in it and also happened to penetrate our front tire. Now I know why we have a spare. The show went well, we got kind of a confused response from the crowd, like most "music festival" shows we wind up being the odd band on the bill and in this case we were fifth on a bill of nine. We took off before we could see the response that The Histrionics got. We did manage to sell two albums, so I guess that counts as something. On the way back to Olympia we missed hitting a deer by two inches. Suddenly The Bismarck seems accident prone. Sadly, this will in all likelihood be our last show in Port Townsend because the girl who set up this and the last one is no longer doing it, but she said that she will pass on our name to the next booker who I am sure will lose it.

Eric says:

Great show in Portland! We have not played here since 2004 and we were way overdue for it. We played with the Flip-Tops who recently re-formed. The Dunes ended up being one of the smaller places that we have ever played, it had a huge mirror at the opposite end of the bar that I assume was put there to make the place look bigger. This worked in our favor because it made the twenty people in the place seem like a hundred, so I guess we played to a packed house (sort of). Got free beer (the only beer they had was Rainier which fit just perfectly) and we got paid $50 which ended up being only $7 short of how much it cost to fill up our van. None of my Portland friends showed, but many of Dan's did. We have got to play here again.

Eric says:

OK, finally a good show in Olympia. Not great, but good. Played with The Histrionics and another band called The Barnacles. Kind of an odd trio of bands. The Histrionics and The Bismarck go together, but The Barnacles were doing their own thing. What that thing was, I have no idea. Well, anyway, they were nice guys who did a version of "Box Elder" by Pavement. I was fighting some sort of cold or flu or something and was in kind of a daze the whole time. Got a warm reception from the audience. Only Bridget and John Davis were there from camp Fundingsland, but that is fine because neither of them had seen us before. Bryan and Jason skipped the show to see X-Men 3 instead. Tom Kipp showed up; he might as well be an official member of The Histrionics now. The Yes Yes is a great place to play, which of course means that they are going out of business next month. Didn't sell anything, didn't make any money, but fun was had.

Eric says:

Great show. We opened for Treasure State who we have been wanting to play with basically ever since we became a band. It was just the two of us so it seemed more like a private party than a show although there were quite a few more people than the last time we played here. It was also a going away party of sorts for Tim Cook as he is leaving for California at the end of the month. Bryan recorded us and the audio actually sounded pretty good plus the video looked great because of the low lighting. I love the stage at this place, it is just the perfect size for us. Not too small and cramped, not too large and open, just right. I hope that we play here often. Tim Cook sang on our version of "The Cigarette Lighters" and Treasure State did their version of "Something Hyper." It was like a prerelease of the upcoming Silkworm tribute album. I did a rare thing and took off with Bryan early to get back to Olympia instead of loading equipment, I felt guilty.

Eric says:

The last stop for The Bismarck ended up being in good ol' Mike's in East Grand. (Both our Anaconda, MT and Bismarck, ND shows fell through.) We played with Kentucky Sound Arsenal who were great as ever. Turns out that Nick from KSA's mother works with mine at UND in the Department of Rural Health. We played great and even took some requests, "Don't Ever Change" for Nate Thompson, "Trying to Keep My Dick Hard in a White Man's World" for Nick, and "Ladies' Choice" for James. I had Paulie tape the show for us. Not a huge turnout, but all of the people who mattered were there. Dan broke his kick drum pedal (the third to go in the course of this band) on the last song. Time for the long trek home.
[No stats available]

Eric says:

Had a bitch of a time getting through Chicago, nothing but road construction, tolls, and confusing signs. Went through Gary, Indiana - now there's a happy town. Factories and decrepit houses as far as the eye can see. Got some video footage of these lane lines on the highway that looked like they were painted by drunk teamsters. Some of them careen off the road and into the ditch. Rolled into St Paul on the return (again) at about 6:00 for a 7:00 load-in. Right away things were off. The sound guy told us to set everything on the stage, then he told us to take it all down, then he told us that our drum setup was "stupid". He wanted us to put it up on this ridiculous riser like we were Trixter. Then he told us to get the drums off the stage saying only "stage gear" would stay. Basically, he was acting like a real prick, and if there is one thing that I cannot stand, it is an asshole sound guy (see 9/6/03, 7/8/05, and 8/5/05 for details). Strike one! In the green room we ran across a sign that stated that "loud" bands would be asked to "turn down or leave." Strike two! Then the other band showed up and played some weird Creed/Matchbox 20 hybrid music. Strike three, we are out of there. I went to tell the sound guy that we were going to be too loud even at the lowest level. I actually plugged in my amp and showed him. After all this, he was actually cool about it. Go figure. We packed it up and went to St. Cloud that night for some sleep.
Miles: 550 (again) | Door: Goose egg! | Merch: Same as door!

Eric says:

Wisconsin, to me, is the most forgettable state in the union. I can't even picture what the state looks like (and I even have a miniature version of it in magnet form). It has cheese, that's for sure. I lost count of how many semis I spotted hauling a trailer with "CHEESE" written on it in huge letters or even better, billboards with nothing written on them but "CHEESE" - nothing else, just "CHEESE" - in black letters with an all-white background. Other than this particular regional flair, Wisconsin looks like the rest of the Midwest, flat with nothing in it. Chicago was nice except for all of the tollbooths along with the drivers who are just as bad as those in Minneapolis, big city driving with small town ability. We have now officially crossed into all of the time zones in the United States on this tour (Ed. Note: This is not true as both Hawaii and Alaska have their own time zones.) I changed my cell phone clock so many times that lost track of what day it was. Minnesota to Michigan seemed like a long way to go for a show, but it was worth it. We played a fabulous show with Wishek (who have now developed into a five piece). Ike sang on our version of "The Cigarette Lighters" and then told us that we were playing it in the wrong key. What is a key? Doesn't that open doors? Whatever, great show, well worth the effort.
Miles: 550 | Door: $200 | Merch: $30

Eric says:

Finally got a break from the long drives (for a day at least). Played a great show with Nic Garcia who was playing by himself although the name of his band was The Darktown Strutters (which has got to be the best band name I have hear for a long time) and a local band called The Deaf, they were both great. There was a really drunk girl who claimed to be a stripper and at one point yelled to us "I want to fuck you all." She took a particular shine to me and asked me for my hand which she promptly bit and licked. Interesting. Then she asked if I had a girlfriend. Nope. I guess at one point her father came in to get her, but not before she hugged me and bit my neck. Good thing I had my shots before I left. Chris missed his opportunity to have her dance on his mic stand like it was a stripper pole. Oh well, maybe next time. Another show where we were asked to turn down, but at least this time we got through our set. Both of the bands waived their portion of the door when they heard how far we were traveling the next day which was very nice of them. Stayed with my friend Paulie who I had not seen for about six years. Tried to get some sleep for the long haul to Kalamazoo tomorrow. We are retarded.
Miles: 220 | Door: $60 | Merch: $15

Eric says:

Got a hefty dose of South Dakota today. Not surprisingly, it is a lot like North Dakota except that traversing the entire state makes the tedious drive from Minot to Grand Forks look interesting. The state seems empty and devoid of anything; it doesn't even have grain elevators or missile silos. Well, anyway, the show ended up being blah as well. We played with The Gossip and Panther thus ending our three year cold war with The Gossip. Nobody was there to see us other than a few stray Grand Forks people, all the others just gave us the Fargo stare. A rough match-up if there ever was one. After the show we went to a bar oddly enough called The Bismarck where we met a guy who was really into the old Grazhny Bratchny scene (the record "label" that Dan and I "ran" way back in ‘92-‘97). Turns out that this guy was also the recipient of one of the three Deliriants t-shirts ever made which he got from me about twelve years ago. My small world suddenly seems a whole lot smaller. We stayed with Kristin, friend of Nate, that night and just when we were all prepared to go to sleep out of nowhere this total train wreck of a girl bursts into the apartment with bleached hair, ripped-up bleached jeans, sandals, painted toenails, fake tan, and a cut-off T-shirt that says "THIS IS HOW I ROLL" on it in gold sparkle script lettering. She was having a party in the apartment next door and wanted us to come over and "sign her book", which we all took as some sort of metaphor. I'm sitting there in my pajamas and all of a sudden more people show up and want us all to go to the party. The woman leaves so Dan, naturally, starts to make fun of her, but Trainwreck hears him from the hallway and comes back and confronts him about it. Dan does not deny that he was making fun of her and she then inexplicably challenges him to a dance-off, yelling "Don't you understand? This - is - how - I - roll," pointing to each word as she says it. Well, now we have to go next door and "sign her book." The apartment is apparently a portal to MTV Spring Break ‘98 with everyone drinking and swaying along to "Tiny Dancer". Trainwreck even grabbed my ass at one point. We signed the book (turns out it was not a metaphor), got out of there and tried to get some sleep. Later the police showed up and busted the party. Silence was had.
Miles: 580 | Door: $30 | Merch: Not so much

Eric says:

St Joe's Pub is a bar that allows all ages shows so long as nobody drinks during the show. Great idea. Played great and got a huge audience response. Starting to get a good feeling about this tour now. Made $175 at the door and $130 in merch. Damn! Set the bar fairly high with this one. The two bands that proceeded us were great also. I forgot the name of the first band (but did get two songs of theirs on video), but the other "band" was called Imaginary Girlfriend (easy to remember, it was written across the back of his jacket) which was a guy who had prerecorded a bunch of songs and ended up singing along karaoke style. Sounds terrible, but it was actually awesome. He did a cover of "Hybrid Moments" by the Misfits (which I sadly did not get on video). This guy needs to move to Olympia, he would make a fortune. I looked at the itinerary of St Joe's and Bible of the Devil is going to be here next week (on my birthday actually). We have got to play here again.
Miles: 530 | Door: $175 | Merch: $150 (no shit)

Eric says:

The Bismarck train stalls at its first stop under the watchful eye of the Virgin Mary. This is not a metaphor, there is actually a statue of the Virgin Mary that overlooks Butte, Montana (it even lights up at night). Jim's bar is just about everything that you would imagine from a place called "Jim's Bar." It is run by a guy (Jim?) and you've got your choice of Budweiser or, if you're feelin' fancy, Bud Light. First song went well, a successful debut of "This Train Runs on Two Rails." We were then told (politely) to turn down. OK! Next song ("Logsplitter") goes well. We are told again. We turn down again. Next song we get paid to stop. Well, we got paid at least. $50, that's roughly $16.66 a song, those are professional rates. Hopefully it is all up from here.
Miles: 680 (to Bozeman) | Door: $50 | Merch: $27

Eric says:

Much better show than the night before. We got to Port Townsend in typical Bismarck early fashion and bummed around the place for about eight hours before we played. Port Townsend is like one of those towns that you would read about in a Stephen King novel. I would not have been surprised in the least bit if we'd gotten attacked by ghost pirates - seriously. We played in what was basically a coffee shop that was giving away free food. The place was really cool (and heated) and we played great if not a little loose. After the show someone bought a Bismarck album, but then asked ME if it was the album of the last band that played, which was actually Lake of Falcons. She ended up giving me the album back and taking the Falcons instead, I guess either way she wins. The people working there gave us all of their tip money so I made a point of giving them all CDs. In a way it is like they paid for them. In another way, it's like they paid a lot for them. Princes among men.

Eric says:

This show ended up being at an actual show space, with a PA and everything. We kind of got the blank stare through most of the night, but it could have been worse. The last band that played was a ridiculous "punk" band with such witty stage banter as "Haven't you guys ever wanted to peed in a chick's butt crack?" Clever. This show marked the debut of "The Cigarette Lighters," the song we are going to submit for the Silkworm comp. We all ended up drinking at a bar in town and ended up staying at Greg from FreeJail's "house" which also ended up having no heat or insulation, sort of a theme for the weekend.

Eric says:

Bit of a false start, it turns out that the "house" that we were playing at was more like an "unheated, uninsulated garage." Lake of Falcons played first because I didn't get out of work until 9:30. The cops shut the place down quick. In a way, I was kind of glad because it was very, very cold (even colder than the S.S. Marie show). A vain attempt was made to move the show to another place, but nothing came of it. We just ended up over at Bryan's place and drank.

Eric says:

Well, this has got to be one of our better shows in quite a while, and it wouldn't have taken much for it to be a disaster, for me at least. We played for Vern Rumsey's birthday party having been recommended by Hilary. He's currently dating a friend of hers and that he remembered that Dan was in a band that he got a single of a long time ago (the first one that we ever made three years back). We opened for Fitz of Depression - talk about a blast from the past. The main problem of the evening came when Dan informed me that there would be about a 90% chance that the guy that my wife (soon to be ex-wife) cheated on me with would be at the show. That did not sit well with me to say the least. Naturally I went through hell the entire week seeing as how I learned of the infidelity only on Sunday, and we were playing this Saturday. In the end I just decided fuck it, I have nothing to run from. I'm not going to let this ruin a potentially great show. Well, turns out that I had nothing to worry about because a common friend of his and mine (small world) knew what happened and suggested to him that he stay away, which he did. We got paid $55 (woo-hoo), sold a couple CDs, and some Olympia friends, who had never seen us before, were there (took them long enough). We also had a Bismarck first: DAN PLAYED FACING THE AUDIENCE! Alternately a terrible (learning about my wife), and great (playing a great show) beginning to the year. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Eric says:

This show felt like the show we played at Jimmy Z's in Everett months ago. We had a great place to play, a great sound setup, we played great... six people were there. We played for Josh, Tim Cook, Tim Thomas, Tom Kipp, Jeff Henry, and the chaperone for The Histrionics. The Histrionics were not allowed in the audience because they were too young, and since drinks are allowed in the room, the space was considered part of the bar. Instead, they had to watch us from the side of the stage, and had to freeze in the green room before they went on. Whatever, at least our friends showed up, and it is always fun to play with The Histrionics (who are now an all girl three piece again after briefly flirting with a second, male guitarist) honestly, what did we expect playing on a Tuesday night? The Bismarck comes full circle, this was the first place that we played at the beginning of the year, and this is the last place that we played at the end. We dedicated "Black Rage" to Tookie Williams.

Eric says:

Another great show, one of my favorites. It was Lake of Falcons's record release party, so we were not selling any merch, but then again when do we ever really? I did have one guy ask for an album, but apparently his girlfriend wouldn't pony up the $5, he did buy a Falcons album though. It was god damn cold. Apparently the show space has no heat, it kind of reminded me of the shows that we used to play at Mike's old skate park in Grand Forks way back in 1997, although that was quite a lot colder. I made an attempt to have Bryan tape the show with my camera, but the end result was not the best, oh well, Lindsay snapped some photos. I recorded Lake of Falcons with better results, but still not the best. We were too quiet and they were just a bit too loud. We played pretty good, very loose, at one point during "You Will Not Survive This" Dan broke out into "Greed," an old Happy Accidents song (the band Nate, Dan and I were in circa 1992), I busted into the guitar part (that for some reason I still remember) and Nate started singing the words to the Big Black song "Cables". The vocals went out midway through the show which was a pity because we were actually singing the whole time. During "Black Rage" (dedicated to Richard Pryor [1940-2005]) we just went all over the place yelling, making noise, and running through the crowd. Uncharacteristic for us, but fun, and people seemed to like it. Remember: passion over precision.

Eric says:

Terrific show! We played with Lake of Falcons and a band called FreeJail. We ended up playing last, but I would hardly consider it "headlining", we actually flipped a coin with Falcons over who would play second (we both wanted to), and we lost. All three bands played great, there were more than five people in the audience, we got paid, and we sold five albums, so I consider it a success. Lindsay took some great pictures and I snapped some off some for Falcons. We broke in the new bass cabinets that Chris and Dan made, they look nice and new... five shows later and I am sure that we will have them scraped and chipped like all of the rest of our equipment. The day before Thanksgiving and we didn't play "Whiskey and Blankets," what were we thinking?

Eric says:

Speaking of playing shows at the same venue more than once, we have played at Scriber Lake four times, and I am sure that we will play here again. The Histrionics have gotten much better since last I saw them, and I will always marvel that the drummer somehow manages to play in a skirt. We played a much better version of "Black Rage" and cut the new song. Basic show, we couldn't even seem to entertain the teenagers this time. The Bismarck has a habit of playing all of our low energy/low turnout shows at the end of the year which is always a little demoralizing. I have high hopes for the show next week with Lake of Falcons.

Eric says:

Once again we are welcomed by the drag queens with open arms. We were the only band that played this night so we did a long set (nine songs wow!). Had all of Lake of Falcons in the audience (Nate, and BOTH Josh's) and Ike's friend Jason showed up from his band Wishek, he recently moved out to the area, unfortunately I didn't get to talk to him, maybe next time. Tonight featured the debut of "Black Rage" which seemed to be a big hit with the audience. Actually we got a fairly warm response this time around. Supposedly we also got paid, Dan had to pick it up the next day because there was no way we were going to sit there until 2:00 a.m. I like this place, the stage is the perfect size for us. Now we just have to beat the two show curse that we have been plagued with over the last three years. The two year curse goes like this, the Bismarck plays at a place once; the venue asks us back, The Bismarck plays there again, either of the following takes place: 1. The Bismarck plays like shit and are not asked back 2. The Bismarck is considered "to loud" and is not asked back 3. The Bismarck plays great, the venue loves us... then they shut down. Lets count which venues have been a victim of the two show curse: The Green Room (reason 2), The Matrix Cafe (?), Lila's (reason 3), The Stanwood Hotel (well, I wouldn't write that one off yet, but for now lets just put down reason 1), The Lobo (?), The Mars Bar (reason 2). If we end up playing at the Vogue again it will be a rare example of The Bismarck playing three times at the same place. Think positive.

Eric says:

Well, it is safe to say that we will never play here again. Everything was going just fine: the soundwoman told us not to blow the top off the place, so we started with our amps at half of their usual volume, no problem. Two songs into the set the BARTENDER comes up behind Dan and yells at him to tell us to turn down more and that it is "not an option". I guess that he couldn't hear the drinks people were ordering. So we struck three songs from our set and blasted through the rest. When I announced the last song both Chris and I went back up to full volume. Fuck them. But this is not the bad part. The NEXT band (who were pretty good actually) get on stage and is WAAAAAAAAAAY louder than us and nobody says a thing. What the fuck? Ok, so now I'm pissed off. THEN the third band comes on, "The Out Crowd", and, oh, these guys are precious. Pouty girl with tambourine - check, drummer with fro' - check, Bass player with cigarette dangling out his mouth - check, singer with sunglasses - check, androgynous spaced-out guitarist - check. Oh lord! By this time I can't even be in the place anymore, but I can't help but go in every once and a while just to watch this band play rock star. It looked like they were put together on some sort of "making the band" reality show. I half expect to see them on The O.C.. I bet they practice in front of a mirror. Ok, so after they are done Chris and I go to see if we are getting paid, well the guy at the door tells us that ONLY the last band is getting paid because they were promised a guarantee. Oh really. So I start in on the guy, where are they from? - Portland, among other questions finally the guy waves me off and states, like it is the most important thing in the world, "Well, their lead singer was in the movie Dig." So what, he sucks AND he's "famous". Whatever. I can almost hear that McLusky song echoing in my head: "One of those bands got paid I heard, one of those bands got fake tits..."

Eric says:

The Bismarck plays another in a string of disappointing shows. The venue had everything going for it. It had a nice stage, it had a great sound set-up, and we actually had a sound check. Nobody was there. We ended up playing for our wives, my friend Kim (who was visiting Nate after 13 years), and maybe three other somewhat interested people. We didn't get paid, but we did sell three albums (Kim, Kim's friend, and a drunk guy - our bread and butter). We played pretty good regardless, now I wish that we could play this well in front of an audience, but as the saying goes - wish in one hand, shit in the other, and we'll see which one fills up first.

Eric says:

The Bismarck gets upstaged by 16 year olds again. The people were really into the first band which was comprised of kids that didn't even have hair on their sacks yet. They were actually really good and had a definite Black Sabbath influence, so I was not shocked when they ended their set with "N.I.B." I wonder, does this band have a song called "N.B.S."? People were less enthusiastic towards us. We thinned that herd like expert shepherds. Miraculously someone (possibly a drunk someone) bought an album and we made $50. Which is what we got paid last time so I suspect that they just give every band $50. We actually played better than the night before (because we could hear ourselves I think) too bad nobody cared. We got to break in our new (currently uninsured) van on its first extended trip. It's weird, it is smooth, doesn't have any road noise, and does not have a death rattle when you turn it off. Everything works. Do we deserve this van?

Eric says:

Well, we got to the show in typical early Bismarck fashion and they made us go on about ten minutes after we got in the door. Basically we just loaded up on the stage and started playing. The damn sound guy (God, how I hate them all) told us to turn down at least five times, I swear that by the time we were done I was so low that I had my ear to the amp. We also got the cut-off from said sound guy (kill, kill, kill) so we struck "Don't Ever Change" from the set (which we were going to do anyway, HA!). Everyone who was there (who were friends of ours anyway) said that we sounded good, but that they couldn't hear the vocals which actually shocks me seeing as how low we were. I guess the sound guy (bitch) REALLY didn't know what he was doing. Nate from Lake of Falcons showed, but we played so early that he missed us, Lindsay and Hilary missed us too, oh well. We played well enough and premiered "Sandbar Knifefighter Blues" so it wasn't a total loss. Plus, we sold an album and made $30 which will be just enough money to get us to Stanwood tomorrow. We are supposedly playing here next month, but I keep expecting an e-mail soon canceling. Time will tell.

Eric says:

This show was primed to be a fucking disaster. We were supposedly the only band opening for a transvestite burlesque show. I know, it sounds like a joke. Turns out that we were not the only band and it was more like someone's birthday party. We played really well, so maybe there is something to be said about having monitors. The other band was playing their 3rd show (which was apparent by how well they were dressed) and they had only been a band for two months, but played for a fucking hour! Do these people have jobs?. We did a better version of "If You Should Survive This," which has been giving us some difficulty lately. This was its "official" unveiling as the show in Moscow, ID does not really count. The Seattle crew was in full force, the Tims, the Toms, and even Nate and Josh from Lake of Falcons showed up. It turns out that Lake of Falcons actually played in Olympia at someone's house on the same day as our show last week, go figure. They charged seven dollars at the door so we made $50 dollars, I had some carrot cake, and only Nate and I were out gas money so nobody complained.

Eric says:

We try, we try, we try to put on a good show in Olympia, but despite our best efforts we just can't seem to get it right here. Oh well, it was good to get away from The Voyeur - for once at least. Most everybody at the show said we were good, but I just know that we can be better than this. Sold some CDs which means that I have officially sold a copy to almost everyone that I know in Olympia. Played with Jacob and Chris's band, Redheaded Judas, Aarons "band" Acre, and a band called The Shotgun (formerly The Crazy 88's) who were really good. We did a passable rendition of "My Baby's A Blackout Drunk", an old They Drive By Night song. Not a terrible show, not a great show, just a show. Maybe next time, maybe next time...

Retired:   "Ladies' Choice" (2003-2005)

Eric says:

The Bismarck played their last show of the tour. The Bismarck played well. The band before The Bismarck would not get off the goddamn stage, they played ten songs in an hour and mostly they told bad jokes. The Bismarck was pissed. The Bismarck broke their glasses, The Bismarck dropped their pick, but The Bismarck played well. The Bismarck got $50. The Bismarck sold 3 CDs. Six bands played with The Bismarck, two of them were good. The Bismarck had their show for the next day cancelled. The Bismarck has to clear 700 miles to Missoula tomorrow. The Bismarck has been in the van too long. The Bismarck are all still friends. The Bismarck will do this again...

April 16, 2005 - Just outside of Forsyth, Montana, The Bismarck's touring van broke down. Luckily, there were no injuries and the survivors were fished out and transported along with the hulk of their ship to a Motel 6 in Billings where The Bismarck would celebrate Eric's 29th birthday and plan their next move.

April 17, 2005 - Deciding that their vessel was not worth repairing, Cock of the Fleet, once the pride and joy of The Bismarck, was scuttled and left to rust in a junkyard. The Bismarck booked two of their members on a Greyhound back to Seattle while the other two salvaged what they could of the van, loaded their equipment into a U-Haul and braved the "Crazy Mountains" through the night.

R.I.P:   Cock of the Fleet (1977-2005)

Eric says:

Dicked around in Grand Forks before the show. Jury and I went to the I-29 with Big Angry Nate and Jason Lay and had some cheap midwestern food. Took the van into Odin's for a little maintenance and then had to take it to Exhaust Pros to get the exhaust hangers fixed which they ended up doing for free! MIDWEST! I picked Lindsay up ten bucks' worth of Village Hot Sauce. Had to be at the Empire by 6:30 p.m. to load in, which was kind of silly as the show didn't start until 8:30. The Empire is huge and, as it turns out, totally non-conducive to the rock. We got our name on the marquee (plenty of pictures were snapped of that) and finally got it spelled right. The fact that it's the state capital can't hurt. A band called Kentucky Sound Arsenal played first. They were 18 and way better than I ever was at that age (or at my current age). Nic Garcia's new band The Plainsmen played with us also. This wasn't exactly the best Bismarck show ever but certainly not the worst. I think that compared to the night before it was weak but that's all. This did end up being our most profitable show ever. We made $175 at the door and sold 15 CDs (due in no small part to the cajoling of the Kentucky Sound Arsenal crew). After the show Nate, went to try to score and Dan, Jury, and I stayed up with Tom and Peggy and showed them some of the pictures from the tour. Tomorrow it's off to (what would turn out to be) our last show.

Eric says:

Got into Grand Forks, dropped off Nate at his parents' house, dropped Dan off at his dad's. Jury and I went out to Buffalo Wild Wings with Ike, Big Angry Nate and Gohman. I actually ended up beating everyone at trivia because most of the categories were movie-related. The show was fairly busy. We convinced Straphanger to play last i